The most common lies some men tell.
We’ve all heard the classic “no, your bum doesn’t look big in that”, but what other common lies do men tell women?
“I don’t want to do anything, but let’s just lie in bed”
Men feel that desexualising the thought of you and him in bed means that he’s onto a winner when it comes to a little sexy time. When he says “let’s go to bed for a snuggle” it usually leads to “shall we hop under the covers? It’s getting chilly” and then “please take your clothes off, I love the feel of your skin next to mine”, and you get the idea of where it goes from there. Sometimes it’s good to just go along with this because it can be entertaining for women to wait for his next move; it’s always so predictable that it’s kind of comical. Bless men for thinking they’re being all sneaky when we know exactly what they’re up to. Cheeky little liars!
“No, I’m not married”
Whether they’re single or taken, married or divorced, the weak spot for many men is revealing their true relationship status when they’re approached by a member of the opposite sex. “I’m divorced and on the dating scene at the moment” usually translates to “I’m married with five kids” when you’re speaking to the man who swears that the awfully suspicious ring on his finger was a present from his mum. Men love being approached by a member of the opposite sex because it gives them an ego boost and they love to lap it up. It’s not until a few days later when they add you to a social networking site from a friend’s account that you come across their account. And their fiancé’s account. Busted. Come on guys, have some common sense.
“I’m on my way”
“I’m on my way now”, when said by a man, is usually accompanied by background music and the relentless chatting of familiar voices that you recognise to be those of his friends in a bar. What he means is that he’s thinking about coming home but isn’t quite ready yet. When you ring him an hour later, he says “Sorry babe, my mate bought me another drink so I had to stay” – classic male lie. The trick to getting your man home on time tonight is telling him you’ll be wearing something sexy at 8.00pm. He’ll be home pronto with no excuses to be heard. Until he realises your sexy underwear is actually your comfy clothes and he comes to the sudden realisation that’s he’s supposed to be meeting his mate…
“I’m sober as a judge”
What is it with men not being able to admit that they can’t handle their drink? “I’m sober as a judge” he insists, as he stumbles his way up the stairs. If you’re going to tell this lie, men, at least don’t walk up the stairs like you have two left feet. Try brushing your teeth before you try kissing us too; alcohol breath is the biggest tell-tale sign of a drunken partner. Even the next morning when you clearly have the hangover from hell, the closest to the truth we’re going to get is “I did get a little tipsy, but I certainly wasn’t drunk”.
“I was staring at her jeans because I thought they’re the same as yours”
When a man is looking at another lady’s behind and you pull him up on it, the classic excuse is “I was staring at her jeans because I thought they were the same as yours”. Erm, I don’t own a pair of bright pink jeans so I don’t think they are the same as mine and even if they were the same, why would this be so fascinating? We know that men look at other women, but when they do it right in front of our eyes and then lie about it, it makes us feel kind of bad about ourselves. Some men just don’t seem to have any control over their wandering eyes these days.