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7 worst first date mistakes

September 20, 2012

Things you should never do on a date.

FEATURE

What were you up to last Saturday? If you were home alone, watching re-runs of Friends or if you were being slapped outside of a restaurant after a terrible date, then chances are you’re making one of these seven worst first date mistakes. Check out this list and find out what you’re doing wrong and how you can crack the first-date challenge.

You played hard to get

Your friends might tell you that playing hard to get is the key to securing a guy, but the last time they went on a date was when they were 14. Don’t play hard to get. It will turn your date off and even if they did like you, by the time it’s time to pay the bill they’ll have lost that loving feeling.

What to do on your next first date: Don’t act as if you are head-over-heels in love with your date, but do give them signals that you’re interested. Touch their arm gently or look into their eyes for a few seconds and smile. Little hints like this are enough to keep them interested.

Wandering eyes

Even if the hottest man you have ever seen or the sexiest woman in the world walks in to the bar where you and your date are having a drink, be strong and do not check them out. Your date will be aware that a gorgeous guy or girl entered the bar too and they will probably watch you to gauge your reaction. If you stare at them, drooling over their toned behind, your date will be hurt, humiliated and might assume you lack loyalty.

What to do on your next first date: If you really are desperate to gawk, just wait five minutes and excuse yourself whilst you go to the bathroom. Then, when you make your way back to your table admire the hottie in secret.

You asked permission

There is nothing more off-putting than having someone ask for your permission to kiss them. It shows you lack confidence, assertiveness and, if you have to ask, the moment clearly isn’t right. Although, on no account, should you be too aggressive, asking to kiss someone is a classic first date mistake.

What to do on your next first date: Try to work out why you ask permission. If you ask permission because you lack confidence read some tips on how to be a better kisser. Also don’t over-think the moment because, despite the hype, the first kiss isn’t the be all and end all.

Be silent and mysterious

Although the brooding and silent type of guy and girl seems sexy in movies, in real life you just come across as aloof, arrogant or painfully shy. Instead of being silent, you need to showcase your personality. A study undertaken at Iowa University found that those couples who had similar personalities were more likely to stay together longer.

What to do on your next first date: Scrap the attitude and instead talk about topics that show the person you’re dating who you are and what you are like. Not only will your date be more interested in you, you’ll probably have more fun as well.

Talk about how you cheated

One of the worst first date mistakes is to talk about how you cheated on your ex. In a study undertaken by researchers at Cornell University it was found that the trait both men and women rated highest was fidelity. In fact, being faithful was ranked as being more important than attraction, wealth and status.

What to do on your next first date: Avoid talking about your ex and don’t mention that you broke their heart because of your night-time antics with the girl or guy next door. Although you’ll have to tell them the truth at some point, the first date is not the time or the place.

You moaned

So, you’ve had a terrible year, but do you really think a first date is the right moment to offload? People want to be around others who make them feel good and are fun. If your date leaves feeling low, depressed and in need of a stiff drink after spending the evening with you, there is no chance that you will be getting a second date.

What to do on your next first date: If you’re too low to control your feelings and you’re not in a great place, starting a relationship is a bad idea. Be brave and address any issues that are holding you and your happiness back before starting to date again.

You ask them what they want to call your children

Dates are all about flirting and fun; not pressure, commitment and life plans. Although you need to ask engaging questions, asking your date whether they would be happy to convert their children to the catholic faith is going too far. Avoid talking about having a future together or asking them their views on such personal and difficult issues.

What to do on your next first date: Think about why you ask in-depth, personal questions. Is it because you’re desperate to settle down? If you are, just remember that those questions will just drive the person away, so try to relax and enjoy yourself.

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