Sex survival guide: How to cope at every stage.
Follow these tips to be great in bed
Get turned on
There’s no point cutting the foreplay if you want to be a sex superstar. You need to give each other lots of attention and build up the heat before pursuing the end result.
For him: To turn her on make sure she is fully relaxed. Brain scans show that women achieve orgasm more easily if their stress levels are low. To relax her, light a scented candle, dim the lights and ask her if she’d like a massage. After the massage, focus on her neck area. A woman’s neck is an unexpected yet highly sensitive area that is normally overlooked during foreplay. Begin by stroking her neck, from the hair line down to its base. Then start to kiss it, just little pecks to begin with; you can move onto the rest of her body next.
For her: To turn him on you should tease your guy. Begin by telling him that he can’t touch you, but that you can touch him. Start to kiss him, working from his head down. Linger around his groin, but don’t actually touch him there. He’ll soon be begging for more. You could also think about dressing up. Keep it simple with some stilettos. If you can’t walk very well in heels, don’t worry. Just wearing them in bed is enough to please him. You can turn up the heat by adding some sexy stockings or socks.
If you’ve never slept together before, bringing up the issue of contraception can be awkward. Just think though, would you prefer to be red-faced for a minute or catch something nasty? We know what our answer would be.
For him: Always carry condoms and make sure you ask if your girl is using any other methods of contraception because condoms aren’t 100 per cent effective at preventing pregnancy. If you feel shy about asking what contraception she’s using, remember that she’ll probably find you more attractive for doing so because it shows you’re conscientious and you’ll seem like a decent guy.
For her: Even if you’re using another form of contraception use condoms because other forms of contraception don’t protect you from sexually transmitted diseases. Keep condoms in your purse so that you never find yourself without some. If your guy struggles to put one on it can get a little awkward. Make the situation easier by helping him put the condom on. To do this whilst keeping the mood alive you could go under the covers and, whilst carefully applying the condom, kiss his groin area and talk dirty.
They’re terrible in bed
We’ve all been there; we finally pull the hot girl or guy that we’ve been chasing for months and they end up being terrible in bed. Do you suffer in silence or say something?
For him: Never, ever tell the girl you’re sleeping with that she’s the worst person you’ve ever slept with and that you’d prefer to sleep with no one else, ever again, so long as you never have to sleep with her again. Instead, give her some gentle guidance. For example, if the girl is riding you too hard, ask her if she’d like to do the missionary position because you find it really hot.
For her: Remember that being good in bed is important to a man’s ego so don’t crush him by being overly critical about his performance. Instead, try to give him instructions that will help him make it better for you. Simple directions, such as ‘to the right’ or ‘harder’ can work wonders. Also, you can place your hands on his hips and control his rhythm and angle. Another way you can help your guy in bed is by taking his hands and placing them exactly where you want them.
For him: Sex is not a marathon, but it’s not a sprint either. On average, sex lasts between three and 13 minutes so don’t worry if it doesn’t feel like the actual sex lasts for that long. Instead, focus on foreplay. If you spend between 20 to 40 minutes turning each other on then your sex session will feel like it was longer. Plus when you finally enter her, your sex will be explosive and passionate.
For her: Even though you really want to orgasm, it can be extremely hard to get there sometimes. To increase your chances of hitting the high-notes make sure you are really relaxed before you jump into bed. Then spend a chunk of time on foreplay so that you’re excited before actually having sex. During sex, try to get lost in the moment and don’t over-think things. Asking your guy to talk dirty to you or thinking about a sexual fantasy can help.