Balik kampung: No more a woman trapped inside a man
Transgender Nisha Ayub says it may take a long time for family members to accept her as she is now.
This was especially so in her years transitioning to a transgender woman.
She said she had to hide her true self and “pretend” to be a man every time she went back home to Melaka.
However, year after year, she began shedding the facade, showing a glimmer of her true self, although this did not sit well with some of her relatives.
“Of course, you have your relatives saying all sorts of things but I would just concentrate on my mother and siblings.
“At the end of the day, they started to accept me as I am. Things really changed after I came out of prison,” Nisha told FMT.
She said after her release, her family realised she was serious about taking charge of her gender identity and that nothing was going to change her.
Nisha, 38, was arrested by religious officers for cross-dressing when she was only 21. The judge who presided over her case sentenced her to jail for three months in an all-male prison, saying it would make a “real man” of her.
During her dreadful time in prison, Nisha was told to strip for prison authorities and was sexually assaulted by the inmates, an experience that left her crushed.
Luckily, her independent streak helped in her transition and she began to accept her true self.
Nisha said transgenders must acknowledge that their families will take time to accept them as they are.
“It takes time to understand yourself and accept yourself. Your families will also need just as much time to do the same.
“We play an important role in creating awareness within our own family, not just society. But remember you are not alone.”
Nisha has sound advice for those whose families will not accept them. She said blood relatives aren’t the only family one can have.
She reminds transgenders that they can have friends and those who love or accept them for who they are. These people are also family.
She said this year, she celebrated Aidilfitri with her family in Melaka and they were excited to have her home.
Nisha said an Aidilfitri open house may be held in the middle of July for her NGO, Seed Foundation and Justice for Sisters.
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The two organisations that Nisha founded fight to repeal laws that criminalise transgenders based on their gender identity as well as provide support services to transgenders, sex workers and people living with HIV.