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Stop worrying, start living

 | December 31, 2012

Are you always an excessive worrier? Perhaps you subconsciously think that if you 'worry enough', you can prevent bad things from happening.


This whole year, I have heard so many worries from people, especially family and friends. It just got me thinking as to how many people are captives of their worries. I am also guilty of such worries.

With this new 2013 year just around the corner, it is full of promises for a better life, happiness and abundance.

Do you remember how it was last year when you told yourself, ‘I hope 2012 will be a better year than 2011?’ Now we are at the end of 2012 and I am sure 2012 was a lot better and in advancement to your life growth than 2011.

So also will, 2013 be better than 2012 especially when it’s time to greet 2014. See, it’s an amazing yearly cycle of questioning if the next year will be better.

My advice is, don’t worry about it. Cross the bridges when you get there.

Are you always an excessive worrier? Perhaps you subconsciously think that if you ‘worry enough’, you can prevent bad things from happening. But the fact is worrying can affect the body in ways that may surprise you.

When worrying becomes excessive, it can lead to feelings of high anxiety and even cause you to be physically ill.

Excessive worrying, this is what will happen?

Worrying is feeling uneasy or being overly concerned about a situation or problem. I am sure you already know someone who is such a person.

With excessive worrying, your mind and body go into overdrive as you constantly focus on “what might happen or the worst.”

In excessive worrying, you will suffer high anxiety — even panic. Many chronic worriers tell of a sense of impending doom or unrealistic fears that only increase their worries. Ultra-sensitive to their environment and to the criticism of others, excessive worriers may see anything — and anyone — as a potential threat.

Such chronic worrying affects your daily life so much that it interferes with your appetite, lifestyle habits, relationships, sleep, and job performance.

People who worry excessively are so anxiety-ridden that they may seek relief in harmful lifestyle habits such as overeating, cigarette smoking, or using alcohol and drugs.

How to stop your worrying?

If you want to avoid worry, you need to follow what Sir William Osler did, that is to ‘live in day-tight compartments; don’t fuel the futures and just live each day until bedtime.’

When you worry next, ask yourself, ‘what’s the worst that can possibly happen if I can’t solve this problem or situation or person?’ You will need to prepare yourself mentally to accept the worst if necessary.

Then gently and calmly try to improve upon the worst, which you have already internally agreed and accepted. Remind yourself that you will only pay a price in terms of health if you continue to worry.

If you are worrying often, why don’t you start a new habit of analysing rather than worrying? Most of your worry is due to you trying to make decisions before having sufficient knowledge on which to base a decision.

Carefully weigh all the facts, before coming to your decision. Once you have decided, act! Immerse yourself to carry out your decision and dismiss all anxiety about the outcome.

Here is how you can analyse rather than worry. Ask yourself these questions: What is the problem? What are the root causes of the problem? What are all possible solutions?

Break the worry before it breaks you.

My grandma always says, ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop’. Clear the worry out of your mind by keeping busy. Plenty of action can be the best therapy for your worrying nature. Don’t fuss or permit little things to ruin your day’s happiness.

Use the law of averages to wipe out your worries. ‘What are the odds against this thing happening at all?’ If you know the circumstances is beyond your control to change, say ‘It’s so; it cannot be otherwise’.

Cooperate with the inevitable. Also, decide just how much anxiety a thing may be worth? Refuse to give it anymore!

Increase your attitude for peace and happiness. What the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve… is always quoted by Napoleon Hill.

Fill your mind now with thoughts of peace, courage, health, and hope. If people issues are your key reason to worry, please consider this. Never try to get even, because if we do, we will hurt ourselves far more than we hurt them. Instead of worrying about ingratitude, let’s expect it.

Remember, every moment of our lives God is working in our lives and how often do you thank him?

Why should we expect more gratitude than what God got? Remember, the only way to find happiness is not to expect gratitude but instead, to give for the joy of giving. Count your blessings and not your troubles.

Let’s not compare or want to imitate someone else’s life or lifestyle. We need to find ourselves and be ourselves. Also, when dealing with fate, if it hands you a lemon, let’s try to make lemonade. Look out for the precious gems in the mud. And finally, I will suggest you try to forget about your happiness by trying to create a little happiness for others. When you are good to others, you are best to yourself.

Manage worry about criticism

Unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment; it often means that you have aroused jealousy and envy. Remember, that no one ever kicks a dead dog. Do your very best and avoid those critics.

Become an observer rather than an absorber of criticism. It will toughen us to look at criticism from an unbiased, helpful and constructive manner to better our self. Off course this applies to constructive criticism.

Prevent fatigue and worry and keep your energy and spirit high. Worry can tire you. I always feel drained after a worrying session.

Here is what you can do to transform your mind state to a better energized one. Take a great advice, rest before you get tired. It’s important you have sufficient energy storage within you so that you are always strong to your challenges.

Learn to relax at work and at home. Relaxing can increase the performance of your mind giving it clarity and ease. Learn to tackle one task at a time in terms of relating to the immediate problem at hand.

Prioritise things in order of importance. When you have to face what you worry, face it squarely and solve it then and there if you have the facts to make a decision.

Learn to get organised and also delegate your worries and supervise.

Enthusiasm is always the buster to worry and fatigue. If you have enough passion for a happy life or something to achieve then nothing can really stop you or pull you down.

Finally, when you worry, proper sleep can be affected and insomnia can develop. Whether you worry or not, no one has ever been killed by lack of sleep. Either way you will soon sleep. Let the worry about insomnia go and invite sleep naturally when it’s ready.

The perfect solution to worry

Nothing solves our life worries like prayer. While there are many scientific techniques and therapy solutions to elevate the mind to rid worrying, the actual act of praying is very therapeutic to the mind, body and spirit alignment of us.

Prayers help us elevate our worries for a higher help and intervention. Prayers set our minds apart from wanting to control and change our current outcomes.

By prayers, we internally surrender our worries to the custody and assistance of the divine.

Let me end this article with a fine memory hook that you will always remember.

Some years ago, I experienced a lecture by Michael Jordan’s coach. He told everyone that if his player had a worry about the game pressure or worry about the opponent during the match, he simply asks them, ‘How much rent is that worry in that room in your mind paying you? If it is not paying any rent, then flush it’.

You must simply see and leverage worry effectively as a positive tool for change.

Julian Leicester is a London trained subconscious specialist with Hypno-Station. He is Malaysia’s most renowned clinical hypnotherapist, media personality, columnist, event host and book author. He can be contacted at [email protected]


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