Eradicating child abuse begins with us
Children are not objects to be customised to fit in with our financial, mental and emotional needs. It is us who must adjust ourselves to fit them.
Last week, yet another child suffered a painful and tragic demise. Preliminary investigations revealed the toddler’s body was covered in bruises and that she also had tears in her private parts. Her mother, baby-sitter and mother’s boyfriend have all been remanded to assist in investigations.
Last year, five-year-old Noor Amila Edrus’ decomposed and headless remains were found. He had been murdered by a relative.
In the same year, a post-mortem conducted on a toddler, who died as a result of abuse, revealed burn marks, including third-degree burns, all over her body, tears on her scalp, ears and lips, as well as bruises on her back. Her older sister and brother-in-law who were her primary caregivers were detained as suspects.
Earlier this year, a woman was charged with causing grievous harm to her three young children and murdering one of them.
These are just some of the child abuse cases that have come to the fore in recent times, but despite public outrage and an outpouring of grief, such incidents continue to occur at an alarming rate, all over the nation.
Alarming statistics
Between 2015 and 2016 alone, there were 2,470 child physical abuse cases reported, making up for 53.09% of all child abuse cases. This figure does not include child sexual abuses cases, which accounted for a further 43.25% or 2,012 cases.
It is difficult to fathom how someone could bring themselves to unleash such atrocities against much smaller, defenceless beings. Most troubling is that the perpetrators are often immediate family members, relatives and primary caregivers, who the child turns to for love and affection, but instead receives pain and suffering.
Whilst there are a number of punitive measures in place to help address the abuse and neglect of children, these have proven somewhat ineffective. We still fail at deterring abusers and once a case does warrant medical attention, the abuse is so far gone, saving the child’s life is not always possible. If the child survives, they go on to endure years of further suffering and trauma.
Parents and caregivers facing difficult situations or challenging circumstances often vent their frustration and anger on the closest, most easily accessible and vulnerable punching bags – children.
Having children should not be an after-thought
Having a child is a long-term commitment. The act of bringing a child into the world is only the beginning of that commitment. The parent or caregiver must also be prepared to provide that child with a safe, sustainable and stable environment along with other basic necessities that the child is rightly entitled to.
All too often however, we see children being brought into the world with little or no thought being given to how they will be raised. It is not uncommon to see families with multiple children, where it is often left to the eldest child to chaperone and look after his or her younger siblings, as both parents have no choice but to go out to work in order to support such a large family.
We regularly see the care of children outsourced to unsuitable external family members or unqualified babysitters, because mothers and fathers can’t afford to stay home and look after their own offspring.
A number of widely accepted community attitudes also continue to facilitate the occurrence of child abuse. Physically reprimanding and disciplining a child using various degrees of force is still, unfortunately, a commonly acceptable part of our societal norms.
Children in this society are still very much viewed as “property”; entities that belong to the parents or caregivers and who are expected to do as they are told and behave as they are expected to.
Bystanders are therefore reluctant to interfere in how others discipline their young, even if it is obvious that what is being done to the child is clearly harmful, damaging and straight-out wrong.
Most people also continue to write off spanks and smacks as a regular part of growing up, the commonly argued defence being that most of us grew up with the occasional strike and slap yet still turned out normal: so what’s the big deal?
But for every one of us who was only caned lightly on the palm or slapped on the leg, many others were scalded, burnt, kicked or had their heads slammed into walls.
How do we know that the child we see being given a small slap in public isn’t being dealt a far more cruel and harsher punishment behind closed doors? Where do we draw the line between safe and unsafe physical methods of discipline? In a moment of rage, a spanking hand can rapidly morph into one that is far more dangerous and lethal.
No excuse for physical punishment
Physical punishment has nothing to do with improving the child and everything to do with the anger and aggression of those who claim to be seeking to discipline the child.
It places the child in a position of forced submission and rather than address the root causes of the child’s misdeed or wrongdoing, it focuses, instead, on hurriedly stopping the child’s actions through pain and harm.
If it is a criminal offence for us to hit an adult, why is it acceptable for us to hit a child? A large body of research shows that the negative effects of physical discipline heavily outweigh any positive outcomes, not to mention the lasting harm left on the child.
If we are to curb child abuse in the hope of eradicating it altogether, let us acknowledge that by not giving children their due value and importance, we continue to open them up to the possibility of abuse.
Children are not objects that can be customised to fit in with our financial, mental and emotional needs. It is us who need to adjust ourselves, so that we can better fit in with their needs.
Every child that is abused in this country is indicative of our failings as a nation. We have a collective duty and responsibility towards protecting the most vulnerable members of our society, and it is time we stepped up and assumed those obligations in a more serious and urgent manner.
Gayatri Unsworth is an FMT columnist.
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