Snap out of that self-pitying habit

Self-pity is one of the most useless and destructive things anyone can ever do to themselves. It’s more than just a state of mind as it incapacitates your soul and drains every drop of energy you have.

It is easy to feel down when things don’t go according plan, but to separate yourself from reality and compare your situation to others is a totally different thing.

Self-pity is addictive. It gives the victim pleasure and false relief from responsibility. The good news is it is curable.

What is self-pity?

Before discussing how to get rid of self-pity, we must first learn how to identify what exactly is self-pity. People who pity themselves usually have most of these symptoms:

They feel sad, depressed and frustrated with what life presents them with. They find it hard to accept any situation that comes in their lives which is out of their control.

They crave for sympathy, attention and drama. This comes from an extremist thought process and the need to feel supported and pampered.

They prefer living in the past than the present or future. They can’t seem to move on or break away from the mistakes that they have made. These regretful events keep them trapped in a past-oriented state of mind.

They have little or no self-esteem at all. Therefore, they tend to seek for other people’s understanding and support to feel better about themselves. They think that they are not worthy of anything, even love. That isolates them from the people who love and and treasure them.

They always feel guilty about things they are experiencing. Self-pity ensures that they will stay in a victim mode and blame their “faults” on fate, life or on others. It also provides a defense from any broken promises or responsibilities avoided.

How to overcome self-pity?

Feeling bad about yourself is normal and happens to every human being. It helps us learn that we all have flaws but we can and do recover from failure.

So how do we get ourselves out of this quicksand pit? Here are a few tips to help you:

Adopt a pet as studies show that animals help reduce depression and carry you through that self-pity state.

Sit in the sun to absorb vitamin D. It is proven to be effective against mood swings and depression as it boosts our energy and improves our overall health.

Keep a diary or a journal. List 3 things that you appreciate every single day. This can range from a perfect cup of hot cocoa, a lovely smile from a stranger or a gift that you gave to someone less fortunate than you.

You will soon start to appreciate that your life is not that miserable after all.

This article first appeared in and was reviewed by Panel Perubatan Hello Doktor. The Hello Health Group does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.