We all have come across these people in our lives – those who are always looking for ways to make you feel bad about yourself; to control, use, and/or abuse you psychologically.
It could be that manipulative boss who always makes you feel inferior. Or a co-worker who always complains about others, and is probably doing the same about you behind your back.
Perhaps it’s a friend, or family member, who constantly disrespects you.
These types of people can be dangerous for your mental wellbeing and overall health. Here are some ways to avoid toxicity in your relationships, and live positively.
Feel more confident about yourself
Try not to let toxic behaviour affect your peace of mind. If someone constantly puts you down or creates conflict, don’t get drawn in. They may attempt to justify their verbal or emotional abuse towards you, but this does not mean you have to accept it and feel bad about yourself.
Suppose a “friend” knows about your anxiety disorder but, instead of being supportive and suggesting ways to help, they constantly roll their eyes and say things like “you’re only doing this to get attention”.
Such behaviour is unacceptable, and you should let that person know how you feel. Don’t allow such actions to make you feel worse about yourself.
The more you play into the reality of these toxic people, the more it will affect your mental peace.
Let go of grudges
One of the primary reasons behind poor mental health is not letting go of grudges against those who hurt you. Often, in toxic situations, people tend to agree with the other person or acquiesce to avoid angry confrontations. This usually results in pent-up emotions.
Before toxic interactions affect your mental state, learn to let it go. It’s not easy. You could always try agreeing to disagree, and explaining how you feel about the situation. Otherwise, it is entirely justifiable for you to walk away.
If you have a therapist or counsellor, he or she will be able to equip you with defence mechanisms that will enable you to better manage emotional distress under toxic situations.
Set boundaries
It requires strength to handle toxic people; otherwise, they will dig their claws in deeper. Establish boundaries and learn to say “no”. Be strong and move away from the situation to avoid scenes, and stick to the limits you have set.
When these people try to reach out to you again, aim to maintain an emotional and physical distance from them. Cutting off ties is always difficult but, in the end, it will be worth it to preserve your own wellbeing.
It’s important to identify the signs of a toxic relationship, put up the necessary walls, and only engage if absolutely required. Finding ways to handle these people will ultimately ensure your improved overall health.
Dennis Relojo-Howell is the managing director of Psychreg and host of ‘The DRH Show’. Connect with him on Twitter @dennisr_howell.