Mental health is incredibly complex, so if your teenager is in crisis, it’s understandable that you might not know where to start. You want to help them, but what do you do?
While every situation is different and each person reacts differently to mental illness, here are some things parents can do to support their teens.
Take care of yourself
If you’re the parent of a teen who’s dealing with mental illness, it’s important for you to firstly take care of yourself. Your child needs your support and guidance, but to provide it successfully, you need to safeguard your own physical and mental wellbeing as well.
Evaluate options for individual therapy and family counselling to ensure you and your child are getting appropriate mental healthcare. Taking care of yourself will also give you more energy so you can be there for them when they need you the most.
Get educated
As adolescents are not fully grown yet, mental health issues may present differently. For example, bipolar teenagers may experience extreme highs and lows, but many parents wrongly think it is just part of being a hormonal teen.
In many cases, these symptoms indicate a potential mental illness, caused by factors such as stressful events, genetics, physical illness or injury, or drug or alcohol use.
Take time to learn about all these things, or undergo courses if your teen experiences mental health crises.
Seek professional help
Getting outside help can be very beneficial to a struggling teen. You might be the only person your teen trusts, but you aren’t the only one who can help them through a crisis.
Encourage them to get an evaluation from a mental health professional, even if it’s just for a few sessions. A therapist will be able to do more than you ever could on your own; they’ll be able to assess what’s going on with your child and offer guidance and support based on their expertise.
Therapists can further provide tools that will make life easier for the both of you during this tough time.
Be open to their ideas on treatment
Allow your teen to consider all their treatment options. Some, for example, might not feel comfortable with medications. Listen to their concerns and ask your health professional for alternatives such as cognitive behavioural therapy.
Be prepared for setbacks
It’s important to be patient and understanding as you help your teen recognise that setbacks are normal. They might slow progress and feel overwhelming, but roadblocks do not mean there’s no hope or that your child should give up on their goals.
Help your teen to view recovery as a learning process.
Avoid negative messages
Let your child know you are there for them, and don’t make them feel worse by comparing what happened previously with what’s happening now or by criticising their efforts.
What you say matters. Don’t tell your teen they will never get better, or that their life is over. This can make them feel hopeless, depressed, and isolated from their friends and family.
Don’t tell them it is their fault, or this is just something that’s “in your head”, as this can cause shame, guilt, anxiety, anger, and confusion.
No matter the reason behind their mental health issues, let them know you are there for them, are willing to get them help, and will be there as they learn to live with a diagnosis.
Dennis Relojo-Howell is the managing director of Psychreg and host of ‘The DRH Show’. Connect with him on Twitter @dennisr_howell.