You wouldn’t wish Covid-19 on your worst enemy.
Yet there may be a few narcissists that you wouldn’t mind seeing sweat for a few hours with a false positive – just to shatter the illusion of their invincibility and blatant disregard for others.
In football, Neymar, prima donna par excellence, has to be top of that list.
Brilliant player though he is, you wouldn’t put anything past him when it comes to flouting laws and a hedonistic lifestyle.
Indeed, according to reports, he puts some Roman emperors to shame.
So, it comes as no surprise to hear that he planned to buck the trend of subdued celebrations to see the New Year in.
Brazilian media has been awash with reports of a five-day bash with up to 500 guests cramming into his beachside mansion south of Rio de Janeiro.
The 10,000 square metre property boasts a sound-proof underground disco among other hedonistic essentials such as helipad, spa, sauna and six luxury suites. And Neymar has form for this kind of shindig.
For his last birthday party, he split his teammates up with married guys on one floor and singles on the other. Asked what happened on the singles’ floor, the married Ander Herrera reported: “What didn’t happen?”
Given the time difference with Brazil and reported duration of his latest bash, it could still be going on. Some claim it started on Christmas Eve.
Even when he’s not playing, Neymar can get rave reviews.
To ensure privacy on this occasion, hand phones had to be handed in. But the local prosecutor’s office still got wind of it and wants to talk to the player.
With 194,000 virus deaths in Brazil, you can see why. It’s the second highest tally in the world and could top 200,000 by the time the party’s over.
Nor is the prosecutor likely to be the only official to take a dim view.
Neymar may not have noticed, but he has a new boss at his club, Paris Saint Germain. With hypersensitive timing, the Qatari owners sacked their manager on Christmas Eve – just when Neymar could have been welcoming his first guests.
So, out went Thomas Tuchel, who’d won the French Treble and taken them to the Champions League final for the first time in their history, and in came Mauricio Pochettino.
The ex-Spurs boss is a renowned disciplinarian, a stickler for detail, strong believer in the team over the individual and an all-round decent guy. You wonder what he makes of Neymar.
The world’s most expensive player’ contract has a clause that states “no hard tackling” in training and another where he has the option of flying home every other weekend.
Such privileges are not entirely surprising for a club that has been run like the owner’s personal fiefdom of chairman Nasser al-Khelaifi and where managers are considered collateral damage.
The likes of Carlo Ancelotti, Laurent Blanc and Unai Emery as well as Tuchel have all been dispensed with as the holy grail of the Champions League has remained elusive.
In fact, you have to ask the Argentine: “What’s a smart guy like you doing in a madhouse like this?”
Although they may not appear natural bedfellows, there is a French connection – Pochettino captained the club as a player and knows his way around the City of Light.
For the club, it could be a brilliant move if they give him time, but Poch was at Spurs five and a half years and won nothing.
Indeed, cynics have cruelly suggested he’s so desperate for silverware even the French league title will do!
That’s almost guaranteed given the disparity in wealth between PSG and the rest although they have more of a fight on their hands this year.
It is far more likely that he’s taken it because he’s given up on the two jobs where he was first choice to take over – at Manchester United and Real Madrid.
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer and Zinedine Zidane have respectively gone from dead men walking to unlikely title contenders.
But even now PSG seem to be in denial over Neymar. PSG media officer Day Crespo told AFP that the event “has nothing to do with Neymar. We have no information about such an event.”
Ditto the man himself while the company organising it said numbers were just 150 and SOP rules would be observed.
Whether or not the party turns out to be the epic that has been predicted, the point is that Neymar is renowned for this kind of behaviour.
He is a million miles from being a team player and the ultimate loose cannon off the field. How Pochettino handles him will decide the future of the club, player and manager.
It will make him or break him, and if Poch succeeds, it will be worth an awful lot more than any trophy.
The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of FMT.