Zairil Khir Johari is famously accustomed to being pelted with painfully hard-hitting, bone-crushingly weighty, and brain-damagingly complex questions – all of which he routinely fields like a boss. As a holder of various high-level, bling-blingy positions with titles that can make you go cross-eyed – Member of Parliament for Bukit Bendera; DAP Parliamentary Spokesperson for Education, Science and Technology; and Executive Director for the Penang Institute among them – Zairil is typically queried on matters of socio-economic development, decentralization of governance, and national education reform (and never on whether black really is a slimming colour, or if he might one day become a ‘Belieber’).
This is precisely the reason why, during Zairil’s recent courtesy call on FMT, we decided to ‘go full retard’ and assail him with curveball questions that reveled in deep banality, utter irrelevance and concussion-inspired goofiness. Not surprisingly, the eminently accommodating lawmaker played gamely along, graciously entertaining our dementia when he could have seen to far more substantial things (like taking a nap). And instead of dispensing with glib, throwaway, featherweight answers, Zairil gave each of our queer queries deep consideration and offered earnest, candid and thoughtful responses (just as we naughtily knew he would – we didn’t include him in our list of Malaysia’s hottest politicians based just on his hazardous handsomeness, lethal smile and internal-organs-injuring charm).
What magically emerged from our piffling interview (during which our ragingly frivolous questions were charitably characterized as ‘tough’), was a side of Zairil which the public has probably never glimpsed – and which will endear him further to his fans, constituents, groupies, stalkers and professional impersonators. We humbly thank Zairil for kindly allowing us to waste his time and test his patience. You’re a trooper, Zairil!
Describe yourself in just 4 words
[Groans and smiles] Oh, man! Let’s see. ‘Funny’ – at least, I’d like to think so. ‘Hungry’ (all the time). All the time. Because I’m a foodie, you see. So I’d say ‘Foodie’ too. I’m a complete foodie. I’d fly to another country just to eat something if I could. ‘Penangite.’ I think that says a lot. And I would say ‘Easygoing’.
Do you have any weird phobias?
Yeah, I do. I have this thing about bones. So you can’t talk to me about broken bones, exposed bones. [Grimaces and shivers violently].
What has it been like living in the public eye practically your entire life?
The spotlight is not something I’m unfamiliar with, as I had a famous father (former Minister of Education, Tan Sri Khir Johari). The key to dealing with it is knowing how to draw the line between the public and private spheres. It’s important for me and my family to be able to have some kind of personal/private space. It’s not easy to do though. Especially within the country, particularly Penang, where people recognize me wherever I go. I think it’s important to compartmentalize, and make time for family and friends. Because without that social aspect of life, if it’s just work and living in the public eye, you’re basically not a human being. I know some people who are just completely 100% work, and I don’t want that kind of life. And I don’t have that kind of life. I make time and I make space. I think that’s very important and I live by that. So that’s how I cope with it.
Tea, coffee or Milo?
Ah, Milo! I actually don’t drink coffee.
What’s a typical day for you like?
You know what I like most about this job? There’s no typical day. Every day is different. Today, I’m at FMT giving an interview. Tomorrow, I might be visiting some orphans, or going to a school, or giving a talk at some university, or delivering a speech in parliament, or holding a press conference. So every day means new people, new issues – and I love that about my job. And I think that it’s a job that you can’t do if you didn’t love it. I would absolutely not be able to do this if I didn’t enjoy it. You’ve got to enjoy going out there, enjoy meeting people, enjoy talking about different things. Of course, I didn’t know I’d enjoy it at first. I just gave it a try. But you know, I’ve always had an interest in politics – partly because of my dad. So on some level, I knew I’d go into politics. But I just didn’t foresee that I’d enter it so soon, or at such a young age. But the interest has always been there.
If you could change something about yourself, what would it be?
[Laughs] I sort of think my flaws are also good. But… I don’t think my voice projects very well. That’s something I’d like to work on. I have problems when speaking without a mic. My voice doesn’t go far. I always have trouble with that. So if I’m in a large room during a town hall meeting and there’s no mic, it’s very difficult. I just don’t have good voice projection.
What habit are you proudest of breaking?
Well… [long pause]. These are tough questions! [Laughs]. I guess we all like to procrastinate sometimes. And actually, I’m a bit shy. You know, I’m actually an introvert by nature. But because of my work I have to flip that switch. So I can be extroverted on demand. But by nature, I’m introverted. I don’t know if that’s something I want to change, though.
What’s the weirdest thing about you?
[Long pause] You’ll probably have to ask my friends! [Laughs]
If you had all your responsibilities lifted for a day, what would you do?
Wow. [Laughs] I have to think about that. I’ve never actually experienced that before. I suppose I’d work on my personal stuff. One thing I like to do, which I rarely get to do, is leisure reading. I’d read almost anything. Even graphic novels like ‘Alamo.’ I also enjoy the occasional novel. And memoirs. But I don’t have time for any of that. Right now, I do a lot of reading for work. And that’s all the time I have for reading. So yeah, leisure reading is at the top of my list. I’m also doing my PhD (in Political Science) right now – and I’m struggling to find time for that too. So I have a lot of personal things I’d like to do.
If you were to be marooned on a desert island, what 3 things would you bring with you?
[Long pause] My phone! [Laughs] I can’t live without it. I’m quite attached to it. And I guess my MacBook. And internet connection. I guess it’s a desert island with wi-fi!
Who’s your number 1 confidante?
[Long pause] That’s a good question! Ummm… well, I have a few. Different people for different things, right? My wife is somebody that I confide in on many, many things. In terms of work, I’ve got my team, and I’m also close to the (DAP) MP for Bukit Mertajam, Steven (Sim). We’re the same age, we’re both from Penang.
What’s a significant thing you learned recently that blew your mind?
Oh, wow. Let me try to recall. [Long pause, and rests forehead on palm of hand]. It was something that I read about recently, to do with technology, which is quite amazing. Which I can’t recall now. I remember feeling amazed. [Laughs]. Ummm… [long pause] You know, I can’t recall. I have a bad memory. Maybe that’s something I should add to the list of things about myself I’d like to improve. I have a bad memory. I can’t really change it though. I compensate for it by putting everything in my phone. So all my notes, everything, is on my phone. That’s really one of my weaknesses.
If the world was to end tomorrow, what 3 things would you do?
None of them can be published! [Laughs uproariously]