This is only because you can better understand if your relationship is compatible once you come clean about how you manage your money and understand how your partner budgets his.
Like it or not, money makes up a huge part of our romantic relationships; especially those we think will have a long future.
Here are some tips on how to start the discussion about budgeting and money management with your partner:
Set a ‘money date’
Instead of bringing up money issues during a heated argument, set up a money date where you both can discuss your relationship around the issue of money.
Unlike others, this date is one you should never worry about. Let the words flow and talk as casually as you can. By taking this first step, it helps build a foundation of trust and understanding.
The next time you have a money date, you will be better able to see eye-to-eye and be more transparent with each other.
Discuss your values about money
Different individuals spend their money differently. Prioritisation of activities involving money varies from one to another. List down your Top 5 most valued expenses and explain it to one another.
Perhaps you may value travel more while he values working out. Finding out what he prefers to spend his money on will help you understand and lessen the probability of future financial arguments.
Identify your similarities and differences. If there are more differences, then meet each other in the middle and compromise. Remember, stay positive instead of pinpointing what is wrong with the other’s values.
Plan for your future
If you find yourself thinking that he’s the one, yet haven’t gotten around to talking about managing your money, it is definitely time.
Instead of making assumptions about how you are going to manage your money in the future, talk about it.
Will you have “shared” money? Will there be separate bank accounts? This is important as it kickstarts your financial journey together.
The sooner you talk about retirement plans, the better. The only way for you to plan your future together is by talking about it. The future is unexpected and inevitable but you can prepare for it by talking about concerns such as money.
Do understand where your partner is coming from
The first thing to do is NOT get upset. People have different lifestyles and family backgrounds and therefore, are not raised with the same monetary beliefs.
Additionally, their personal financial management approach may be more inclined towards spending, whilst you may be more of a saver.
Instead of getting angry, take the time to understand their background and how they developed this money sense.
From there, decide whether it’s for better or worse, and help each other develop similar money habits.
Stay honest
Whether you have a million dollars or are swimming in debt, your partner has every right to know. Being transparent with your money and honest about your accounts will help build a better relationship.
If you are not ready for this conversation, just let it be known. Do not have the money talk just for the sake of saying you have discussed things over. Be open and willing to listen and learn from one another.
Do something fun afterwards
After the much-dreaded “talk”, do not turn away from one another. Do something that you both love.
Whether it’s watching a movie or going for a run, ending it on a good note will make you both not dread the next time you have to talk about money. This will also give you enough time to process what you spoke about and put it in perspective.
Don’t be afraid to voice out your concerns especially if you think that your partner is not spending his money wisely.
Explain where you’re coming from and give him the chance to speak out. As long as there is trust and honesty, your relationship with money and each other will be better.
Remember, the hardest part is to start talking. Once you have passed that hurdle, talking about money or managing your finances together will become much easier.
The key to ensuring that you get the most out of the discussion is to be open and willing to listen to your partner. Keep the conversation going to a point that money stops being a source of stress between the two of you.
This article first appeared in thenewsavvy.com
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