‘Moonfall’: in space, no one can hear you suck

‘Moonfall’: in space, no one can hear you suck

If writer-director Roland Emmerich was trying to find redemption in the eyes of his audience, he has truly failed with this trainwreck.

Patrick Wilson (middle) does his best with what he is given, while Halle Berry seems all too aware of the nonsense she has found herself in and does not even bother trying. (Lionsgate pic)
PETALING JAYA:
Ah, Roland Emmerich. What is there to say that has not already been said about this one-trick pony?

To the unfamiliar, he is the man behind 1996’s “Independence Day”, the box-office hit that further propelled Will Smith into stardom.

He also helmed such films as “Godzilla” (1998), “The Day After Tomorrow” (2004), and this year’s “Moonfall”.

Emmerich is seemingly a master of disaster – that is, films about disasters, and those that are cinematic trainwrecks from start to finish.

True, he has a keen eye for visuals; the scenes of destruction in his movies tend to be nothing short of excessive.

But when it comes to storytelling and character development, the writer-director tends to fall short, resulting in fare that is terribly unengaging no matter how many explosions he tries to cram into 120 minutes.

“Moonfall” is Emmerich’s latest attempt to melt the audience’s brain with mind-numbing blasts and even dumber plots.

While the visuals are impressive, Emmerich’s storytelling – or lack thereof – severely weakens the overall film. (Lionsgate pic)

Remember the story of Chicken Little and the falling sky? In “Moonfall”, it’s not so much the sky that is falling as much as the moon itself.

Yup, for reasons unknown, it is growing ever dangerously closer to earth. It thus falls upon a team of astronauts to go on a perilous mission to uncover what’s causing it to leave its orbit, and how it can be stopped.

Now, when it comes to most films, it is acceptable to have a plot hole or two. But when the plot starts resembling Swiss cheese, you have a problem on your hands.

Indeed, “Moonfall” will cause astronomers and physicists to tear their hair out. To list all the inconsistencies and illogic would require an article of its own… and a follow-up afterwards.

In one subplot, characters are made to flee for the mountains, which are supposedly a safe haven in the face of impending disaster – never mind that when mountains and earthquakes combine, chaos tends to ensue.

You can’t have an Emmerich film without a shot of a decimated iconic building in it. (Lionsgate pic)

One has to pity Patrick Wilson and Halle Berry, two highly talented actors who have somehow found themselves caught in such nonsense undeserving of their star power. As astronauts Brian Harper and Jocinda Fowler, only Wilson appears to give his all; Berry looks bored for most of it.

The characters are comically generic – pluck them from this film and drop them into any other disaster flick and they will find themselves right at home.

Harper is the estranged father, a spaceman who fell from grace after divulging the truth about a mysterious space accident. Fowler is an exasperated Nasa employee who is stonewalled in her search for answers by her higher-ups.

Joining them on their mission is pseudoscientist KC Houseman, played by John Bradley, who is the resident conspiracy theorist determined to prove himself more than a failure.

Then there’s a handful of side characters – mostly loved ones of the main players – whose contributions to the plot are zilch. In fact, the only memorable character is Houseman’s cat, Fuzz Aldrin.

Further confounding is Emmerich’s tendency to add a romantic subplot in his films, which is puzzling when the world is literally coming to an end. Here, it happens between two characters who are barely fleshed out to begin with. Sigh.

The final reveal of what is causing the moon to leave its orbit is nothing short of laughable. Truly, “Moonfall” might have worked better as a sci-fi comedy, where no one takes themselves or the plot seriously.

The bottom line? If you are looking for a disaster film, turn on the television and watch political news for an hour or two. It might still destroy your brain cells, but at least it will be more inspired than this dreck.

‘Moonfall’ is playing in cinemas nationwide.

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