In a flash, we find ourselves on the second day of a spanking new year. Having bid 2015 farewell, most of us are pondering the year ahead, wondering what lies in store for us. Let us however not forget to reflect upon our achievements over the last year because despite its many challenges, there were moments of great enlightenment too.

Throughout 2015, the world around us achieved great things – new technologies were created, new drugs invented, new planets discovered. Adele released a new album after four and a half years and the world was finally reunited with Luke Skywalker after decades of his disappearance.

Malaysia may not have achieved as much but undoubtedly we learned a lot throughout 2015. If knowledge, lessons and experience are truly as valuable as it is claimed to be, I guess we too have made tremendous achievements, in our own way.

As I reflect on 2015, I have taken the liberty to list down 25 things I am grateful to have learned.

• I have learned that being born a Malaysian Muslim has its perks as long as I am willing to give up my rights.
• I have learned that ‘Nasi goreng, timun and telur mata kerbau’ can help me survive the hardships GST brings.
• I have learned that to put highway concessionaires out of business, the public needs to wake up early every morning and avoid toll roads.
• I have learned that I have an excellent respiratory system which can endure the annual occurrence of the haze.
• I have learned the art of making the best out of the worst – even mass graves promise to be an excellent tourist spot.
• I have learned that the value of life differs from one person to another – war victims are more precious than boat people.
• I have learned “Where there is a will, there is a way” – even murder convicts can escape the gallows if the will to do it is there.
• I have learned that as a Muslim, I need everything to be Shariah compliant – Sharia compliant bank, water, airlines and trolley. (Note to self: Perhaps in 2016 I should write and publish Malaysia’s first Shariah compliant book)
• I have learned that the promises made by our politicians cannot be taken at face value – just like the prices of oil, sometimes it goes up and sometimes it goes down. Forever unpredictable.
• I have learned that despite being an independent country practising a constitutional monarchy, giving absolute power to a king doesn’t seem like a bad idea especially if you can have a king like the Sultan of Johor.
• I have learned that taking drugs is wrong. Except when you are a sportsman – you can always blame it on herbal supplements later.
• I have learned that the smart tunnel isn’t smart after all.
• I have learned that most politicians and influential people standing up for the truth have done something equally bad in their past.
• I have learned that to enjoy freedom and exercise our rights as Malaysians, all we need to do is not utilise our freedom and rights.
• I have learned that people are naturally kind – so much so that it isn’t impossible to wake up one day to billions in donations in your bank account.
• I have learned that in order to get rent free premises in a mall , all you have to do is steal a phone from a competing mall.
• I have learned that the new trend of eco-farming refers to planting vegetables in balconies.
• I have learned that before I can have balcony sex, I need to get drapes fixed in my balcony first.
• I have learned that hate speech is acceptable in Malaysia as long as it supports Malays and Islam.
• I have learned that the new term for “Moderates” is “Malay Extremists.”
• I have learned that there are also extremists and fanatics among the non-Muslims.
• I have learned that “Bumiputera” is the most confusing term in Malaysia. A person may be a Bumiputera even though their parents were born in Java. At the same time a person can’t be a Bumiputera even if five generations of their ancestors have lived here.
• I have learned never to allow myself to follow someone back home just because they smiled at me. And even if I do, I have learned never to defecate in front of their house. And even if I do, I will never to run into their house half-naked to clean myself.
• I have learned that life is unpredictable and full of mysteries. One day you may be in the running to be the next prime minister and the next day you may be pushed out.
• I have learned that for every mistake you make in life, you have to face the consequences – except if you are a politician, or married to one, related to one or share a bed with one.

I am sure there are many other things we’ve learned together as Malaysians throughout the year. But apart from the twenty-five I’ve listed, the most important thing I have learned is that we are a very strong nation with the capability of enduring economic hardship and persevering through weak political leadership. And with this strength, we shall sail through 2016.

Chin up Malaysians and a Happy New Year!