Romantic behaviours can be defined by the way humans form bonds of attachment – or not, as the case may be – to others. Attachment styles – defined as the characteristic way people relate to others in the context of intimate relationships, which is heavily influenced by self-worth and interpersonal trust – originates in childhood, depending on one’s relationship with one’s parents.
But it also applies to the romantic relationships and friendships people form as adults. It was first theorised by the British psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, who said there are four different attachment styles: secure, avoidant, anxious, and disorganised.
However, it is not easy to determine one’s own attachment style, let alone that of one’s partners. Ravin Alaei and his colleagues at the University of Toronto claim that the lyrics of favourite songs give clues about how people might behave in relationships.
To reach this conclusion, they asked 502 people to list seven to 15 English-language songs about relationships that they particularly liked. Nearly half of the participants in the study were women, and the average age was 34.
They were asked to fill out questionnaires about their personality traits and attachment style. In turn, the researchers conducted what they called “lyric coding” – analysing the lyrics of each song mentioned by the participants to determine whether they alluded to secure, avoidant, anxious or disorganised attachment.
They then compared them to the respondents’ personality traits and attachment styles.
Pop hits ‘more avoidant’
The scientists found that those who are prone to an avoidant attachment style enjoy songs that describe superficial relationships. And for good reason, since avoidantly attached people often exhibit a fear of commitment and intimacy; they feel safe when they are alone, which leads them to fiercely defend their independence and freedom.
Conversely, individuals with an anxious attachment style have difficulty being alone. They usually live life through a relationship, which is why they easily fall into emotional dependence.
Alaei and colleagues found that these individuals do not tend to listen to songs that hint at this type of attachment. Instead, they prefer songs “with narratives that match what may be considered validating and self-expressive themes about relationships”, they write in their paper, published in the journal “Personal Relationships”.
The researchers also found that the lyrics of the most popular songs between 1946 and 2015 have become increasingly “avoidant” over the years.
“The lyrics of western culture’s 823 most popular songs from 1946 to 2015 mirrored societal trends of increasing social disengagement (i.e., were increasingly higher in attachment-avoidance themes), suggesting that song lyrics impart psychological meaning at the sociocultural level as well,” they state.
However, there are some limitations to the methodology of this study, particularly with regard to each participant’s song list. It is possible that participants mentioned songs that they could only remember at the time of the study, and not those that they particularly liked.
Despite this, the researchers believe they have found sufficient evidence to suggest that people with certain attachment styles are drawn to the hits that speak to them.