After “trauma dumping”, which involves pouring out all one’s negative emotions onto others, now comes “confidence dumping”. This term, coined by a social media user, refers to an individual’s tendency to boast excessively to those closest to them, or to constantly seek external validation for their achievements.
In everyday life, it’s not unusual to share about the achievements you are proud of. Indeed, on the surface it could be a sign of self-confidence – but overdoing it can be tedious for those around you.
According to content creator Connor DeWolfe, this could be a sign of confidence dumping. The 23-year-old, who suffers from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), coined the term to describe those times when he excessively brags to loved ones or seeks external approval.
Since posting this video, DeWolfe has managed to rack up almost 300,000 views. He explains: “Sometimes we need validation for all the pent-up achievements we’ve done. Because you’re hardly ever self-absorbed, you just have to explode onto another person that you trust.”
His video has been received with empathy. “I identify with everything he says,” one comment reads. “This guy explains exactly what’s going on in my head 24/7,” another adds.
‘A whole collective person’
In essence, confidence dumping involves talking at length about your own achievements and leaving no room for others in the conversation. While it’s easy to see this behaviour as negative or even egocentric at first glance, it actually masks a great lack of self-confidence, according to some experts.
For clinician Stephanie Carnes, confidence dumping is recurrent in people who have lost their self-confidence as a result of rejection or stigmatisation. Those suffering from anxiety or other mental health conditions may also be susceptible to this disorder.
By constantly boasting about themselves, they wish to be viewed as “a whole collective person” and want others to “readily recognise the tenacity it takes to accomplish a task with a particular condition”, she says.
Unfortunately, confidence dumping can lead not only to distance from loved ones but also to conflict. To counter this, experts recommend seeking ways to boost self-esteem by recognising that the first person you should seek approval from is yourself.
To that end, they encourage learning to congratulate yourself before celebrating your victories with others.