Have you ever received advances from someone, even after making it clear that you’re in a relationship? If so, then you may have experienced an attempt at “mate poaching”.

Mate poaching is the practice of seducing people who are already in a committed relationship. This can take many forms, from flirting to emotional manipulation to direct advances designed to damage or undermine an existing relationship.

To achieve their goals, mate poachers “often exploit perceived vulnerabilities or dissatisfaction within the target’s relationship to increase their chances of success”, explained Kevin Bennett, professor of social-personality psychology in an article for Psychology Today.

But why do they behave this way? According to the expert, these people “may experience heightened arousal and excitement from pursuing individuals who are already in a committed relationship, driven by factors such as novelty-seeking behaviour and ego validation”.

What’s more, mate poachers can share certain character traits, the professor explains, tending to be “high in narcissism, unfaithful, extraverted, and open to new experiences”.

This behaviour appears to be quite common in today’s society, and might even be the basis on which many couples were formed. In fact, a US study published in 2004 in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, conducted in 53 countries and involving 17,000 individuals, reports that 10-15% of current relationships are the result of successful mate poaching by one of the two partners.

However, the success of this tactic appears to depend on the couple’s stage of commitment. Another study, published in 2017 in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, shows that the higher the level of commitment, the less likely couples are to give in to temptation. For example, married or cohabiting couples are less likely to leave their partner for someone else.

Mate poaching is not without consequences. For those involved, it can lead to “emotional distress, guilt, and reputational damage, particularly if the behaviour is discovered or condemned by peers”, Bennett outlined.

Experiencing this type of behaviour can also lead to a loss of trust and commitment in existing relationships, leading to a deterioration of the relationship, or even a break-up. That’s why, to protect your relationship, it’s essential to distance yourself from mate poachers.