She knows where she wants to go. She already knows there will be cake after. And she’s doing it all for herself. As she puts it: “It’s like all the nice things you do for other people – you are now the receiver of that.”
For the 34-year-old PJ girl who documents her “solo dates” on Instagram, this weekly activity isn’t about being trendy or aesthetic. It’s about proving something quietly but assuredly to herself.
“It’s very hard for your brain NOT to believe you love yourself, simply because your actions prove that you do,” she told FMT Lifestyle.
This belief did not come from a sudden epiphany. After returning from Taiwan, losing her father, and slipping into a demanding work life, Leong felt something disappear.
“I realised there was nothing left; I didn’t do anything for myself anymore,” she reflected. Going out on her own – something she had done with ease as an only child studying abroad – had disappeared.
Life had become efficient, responsible – and empty.
Needing a change, she made it a point to go on solo dates again. But first, she had to shake off the notion that indulging in such activities was either for the very rich or the very free; instead, she treated it like exercise, imposing upon it discipline and commitment.
“If you don’t draw a box and say ‘this is untouchable time’, it will be taken over,” she said.
Now, Leong scours the web for new places to visit and new activities to do. From quaint cafés and trendy restaurants to social clubs and workshops, what has emerged isn’t just content for social media but a way for her to see the city – and herself.
Leong follows a personal framework she calls her “5C system”: culture, creativity, community, cause, and craft. Yet for her audience, who are mostly women, the biggest takeaway is yet another “C”: courage.
She recalls hearing from one follower who struggled just to attend a pilates session alone. “This girl mustered all her strength just to go to one class. That’s how hard it can be for some people. But she did it.”
Still, Leong is careful not to position herself as particularly brave. “If I can do it, you can too,” she said, believing that any sense of discomfort is temporary.
It has been a year since Leong embarked on her solo dates, and she’s feeling some pressure to evolve. “If I’m not careful, this, too, will become a job,” she mused.
With her background in anthropology, she wants to go below the surface and get into deeper, soul-searching explorations and conversations as she moves about the city, finding out why people enjoy the things they do.
But first, Leong will be releasing a Chinese-language book depicting her solo adventures to date, complete with personal reflections and essays – a meaningful way to wrap up her first year.
At the heart of it all is a simple truth she frequently returns to: that while loved ones – friends, partners, family – matter deeply, they aren’t necessarily there in the quiet moments.
“The last person with you before you close your eyes is yourself,” she concluded. “If you don’t have that relationship sorted out, it’s going to affect everything you do.”
Follow Briana Leong on Instagram.