As Valentine’s Day approaches, mental health experts warn that the pressure to find a romantic connection can intensify stress and low mood among singles – especially those relying on dating apps.
Research from Flinders University found that dating app users report poorer mental health and wellbeing outcomes, including higher levels of anxiety and depression, compared to non-users.
The study identified patterns of “emotional exhaustion” and reduced enjoyment among frequent users – often described as dating app burnout.
Negative experiences common on these platforms, such as being “ghosted”, were linked to lower self-esteem and increased depressive symptoms, suggesting that repeated rejection or silence can have measurable psychological effects.
Dr Hannah Nearney, clinical psychiatrist and UK Medical Director at Flow Neuroscience, said the findings point to a deeper issue.
“The prevalence of depressive symptoms and emotional burnout as a result of online dating is a clear indicator that we need to deepen our connection with ourselves first,” she said.
She added that Valentine’s Day can amplify existing pressures.
“During the Valentine’s Day period, we put additional pressure on ourselves to find connection. In doing so, we can risk finding ourselves in relationships which are not fulfilling just to ‘validate’ ourselves.”
Among young adults, social pressure not to be alone has grown, and dating apps have become a primary way to meet potential partners.
A study published in the British Medical Journal (BMJ) found that people use dating apps for a range of reasons, from seeking long-term relationships to casual sexual connections.
However, this environment can also foster ambiguous arrangements known as “situationships”, where couples avoid commitment while continuing to explore other options. According to YouGov data, half of Americans aged 18 to 34 say they have been in a situationship.
The BMJ study also highlighted signs of problematic app use. About 75% of users reported repeatedly deleting and reinstalling dating apps. Higher levels of such behaviour were associated with more depressive symptoms and impulsivity.
Nearney said obsessive app use is not just about frequency.
“It shows up as an intrusive, distressing, and repetitive preoccupation which leads to losing control over our behaviour,” she said, pointing to compulsive checking, rising anxiety and low mood as warning signs.
When people begin to rely on apps for emotional reassurance, she added, mental health can suffer.
The emotional toll appears to intensify around romantic holidays. A study examining suicide risk around both Chinese and Western Valentine’s Days found significant changes in risk in the days before and after these celebrations compared to other times of the year.
Single women showed a 74% higher suicide risk five days before Chinese Valentine’s Day, while married women had a 60% to 86% higher risk around Western Valentine’s Day. Researchers suggested these patterns may reflect unmet romantic expectations and distress shaped by social narratives about love.
For dating app users already experiencing disappointment or burnout, Valentine’s Day can act as a magnifier of unmet hopes.
Nearney believes reframing the holiday may help.
“Valentine’s Day can be reframed as a reminder that love doesn’t only come from a partner or a match on an app, but can take the form of self-love and looking after your mental health,” she said.
She encourages practising self-compassion, maintaining real-life social connections, and remembering that self-worth is not measured by matches or messages.
Research consistently shows that stable, supportive relationships – whether romantic or platonic – are strongly linked to better mental health and resilience.
Alongside meaningful connection, wellbeing is supported by regular exercise, creative pursuits, learning new skills and taking time away from screens.
While dating apps can offer opportunities for connection, experts caution that balance is crucial. As Valentine’s Day reminds many of what they may feel they lack, it may also be an opportunity to nurture broader forms of love – including friendship, community and care for oneself.