5 ways to handle an office crush

5 ways to handle an office crush

Pining over a colleague can have a serious impact on other relationships within the workplace and one’s career.

Having a crush on someone in the office is normal, but it must be handled with care. (Rawpixel pic)

Considering the time spent together in the office, it is almost inevitable that someone will develop a crush on a colleague. But an office crush is no great romance because it can affect a person’s job.

Many companies have policies against office relationships because of the effect they can have on co-workers and productivity. But having a crush on a colleague need not mean your career at the company is over.

There are ways to navigate an office crush.

1. Do not try too hard to impress

It is natural to want to impress a person you like. You might try various means to get his or her attention but you must not allow this to distract you from your work.

The last thing you want out of this one-sided relationship is a bad performance review.

Of all the ways to impress a colleague, being successful at work has got to be the most effective.

Assuming the person works on the same team, what better way to win their heart than with an outstanding achievement?

Not only will the crush notice, managers will also recognise your contribution, which will boost your career and your love life.

Do not ditch the regular people you share lunch with to join the crush’s gang. It is best to keep a safe distance to keep emotions in check.

Most importantly, do not make it obvious that you have feelings for someone in the office by overdressing for a casual workday, trying to be with the person too frequently or talking about them all the time.

It is better to be remembered as a successful individual than as a hopeless admirer. The best impression is not made with physical appearance or insincere gestures but with confidence and success.

2. Remove the person from your digital space

Do not stalk the crush on Facebook and do not even think about doing it through the company’s social media accounts.

Except for the regular workplace communication channels, it is advisable not to keep their contact information.

There is no way to get over a crush if you are constantly reminded of the person online or offline.

Note: If you actually get to date your crush, never publicise the relationship on social media, even if it has been acknowledged by both supervisors, to avoid gossip or conflict with other team members.

3. Learn to control your feelings

There may or may not be a happy ending with that colleague but, either way, there will be discomfort in the office.

If you’re thinking of crossing the co-working line, you must think of your career goals first, and you should occupy your thoughts with things that require more mental focus.

Talk to friends (outside of work) or family to help quell the emotional chaos.

If you’re considering confessing your love, do think of the worst-case scenario – rejection. It could mean a choice between leaving the company (compromising your career) or continuing to work there despite the inevitable awkwardness.

And no matter how well professionalism is maintained, the situation will affect colleagues. Think about group meetings or company activities when you would have to interact with the person.

The best advice is, do not reveal such feelings unless things cannot be settled in any other way.

Those who have already embarked on a relationship must not behave inappropriately at work by being too affectionate or prioritising the relationship over work.

It is important to spend time with other colleagues as well. Take up a new hobby to create more personal space outside the office. Who knows? It might turn out that the feelings are temporary.

A supervisor must be told about strong feelings for a colleague so they can manage employee relations. (Pixabay pic)

4. Be honest with your boss

If it does not seem possible to fight your feelings for a colleague, at least tell your direct supervisor about it. Waiting for the boss to hear it from someone else could forfeit their trust because it may cause friction and conflict in the team.

Certain things should not be brought to the office, but a relationship with a colleague is a huge thing. Both supervisors need to be aware of it in order to maintain healthy employee relations.

Perhaps management could rearrange the team structure or adjust work responsibilities to prevent distractions, assuming they cannot afford to lose either employee.

It is important to have this meeting with your supervisor at the right time, making sure the company’s code of conduct is not violated.

5. Consider a career move

A few fleeting moments may make an otherwise mundane workday more exciting, but having to hide your feelings every day can drain your battery even before work starts.

If you think your feelings for someone may affect your performance, it might be time for the next job search. It is also a way to set yourself free of the restrictions of company policy.

It is not always possible to control feelings between co-workers, but it is possible to keep your career on track.

On the bright side, looking forward to seeing someone every day is a great energy booster, as long as you can control your emotions.

It is okay to have work-husbands or work-wives (also known as supporters), but when it comes to finding a real-life partner, individuals must act with their brain and not blindly follow the heart.

This article first appeared in jobstore.com

Jobstore is an online job site that specialises in providing jobseekers with the latest job opportunities by matching talented individuals

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