If Jairajdev Singh was six again and had all the time in the world, he says he would want to spend every minute of it with his parents. The 18-year-old college student believes that many take time for granted, only to realise its importance later in their lives.
“Did my parents’ work get in the way? Yes, it definitely did,” says Jairajdev, who aspires to be a lawyer.
“Family is built over time, and relationships are built over time. If I had more time with them from the start, it would have been better, compared to trying to build it now. I still love my parents a lot, regardless.”
Jairajdev shared his views as part of an effort by financial giant RHB, and FMT, to understand the importance of time and time management among Malaysians.
Former deputy director general of the human resources ministry Peter Raiappan said that as one gets closer to the end of his or her journey, he or she will begin to realise how valuable time is.
He also pointed out that the professional demands of today saw people spending more time at work than with their loved ones, thereby missing important family get-togethers.
“There used to be a time when you worked from 9am to 5pm. You could shut off at 5pm,” said 79-year-old Raiappan, who runs a human resources consultancy and also serves as president of the Medan Damansara Residents’ Association.
“But nowadays, the demands on your working life are so very, very taxing. So much so that they interfere with family life.”
According to the World Economic Forum, the annual working hours versus the Gross Domestic Product (GDP) in Malaysia has not changed much between 1970 and 2019. This is despite technological advancements – including in automation and rapid digitalisation – as the country transitions into the fourth industrial revolution.
The average worker in Malaysia clocked in 2,230 hours per year (about 46.45 hours per week) in 1970. In 2019, the average worker in Malaysia spent 2,197 hours per year (or 45.77 hours per week).
The Marriage Tribunal of the National Registration Department revealed that of the 6,901 divorce cases registered in 2018, 2,971 cases (43.1%) were related to financial problems in the family.
Many are forced to spend long hours at work to make ends meet, but, in the pursuit of earning more, relationships and marriages crumble.
To help reduce the divorce rate in Malaysia, independent think tank EMIR Research, in 2021, recommended that family members make time for each other on a weekly basis to bond better.
The lack of time and poor time management have also resulted in the collapse of relationships and marriages.
“I have seen cases, not only between married couples but also between kids and their parents, where they don’t spend enough time together,” said psychiatric medical officer, Dr Balqis Muhamad Kasim.
She shared a case where the parents of a child had not spent enough time with the child.
“In the end, the child chose to address this inadequacy with friends. When the parents realised that they no longer mattered to their child, they tried to reconcile. But at that point, the child said it was too late,” she added.
Balqis also noted that some couples were mentally affected by the fact that they did not spend enough time together.
Faith Foo, a mental health counsellor, said that time management is a “huge problem” these days. She added that the lack of time has severely disrupted marriages and relationships among couples and family members, leading to divorce, and mental breakdowns.
“Many people claim they don’t have enough time but take a closer look and see how much time they spend scrolling aimlessly on their phones or laptops,” said Foo, founder and director of Abri Integrated Mental Health.
“Many of my clients tend to talk about their younger days when they come in for counselling. They share that their parents weren’t always there for them.”
She added that many of her clients said they grew up with their “kakak” (domestic worker) or lived a lonely childhood, instead.
“No one asked them, ‘How are you doing?’ ‘What are you feeling?’
“Think about that.”