In 1987, the accomplished (and recently retired) British actor Michael Caine starred in “Jaws: The Revenge”, a lousy sequel to the acclaimed Spielberg hit.
Later in life, Caine admitted he’d never watched the finished film, saying: “By all accounts it is terrible. However, I have seen the house that it built, and it is terrific!”
What does this have to do with the recently released “Freelance”? Well, it came to mind as this writer pondered how the likes of John Cena and Christian Slater got caught up in its production.
Directed by Frenchman Pierre Morel, this supposed action-comedy stars the former WWE wrestler as a bodyguard to a journalist in hostile territory.
Is it really necessary to give you the plot? It’s not like this movie is worth watching. Ugh, fine, whatever.
“Freelance” follows Mason Pettits (Cena), an ex-special-forces operative who has since moved on to a more mundane career as a lawyer. However, the past is never truly forgotten: he soon receives a tantalising job offer from a former colleague, Sebastian (Slater).
As it turns out, disgraced journalist Claire Wellington (Alison Brie) is on her way to interview South American president and autocrat Juan Venegas (Juan Pablo Raba).
Pettits is thus tasked as her bodyguard and luckily so, since a military coup just happens to break out during their visit, leaving the duo – plus a tagalong Venegas – to fend for themselves.
Now, watching this film may bring to mind “The Lost City”, which also featured a musclebound male lead paired with a struggling female wordsmith.
Unfortunately, the comparison ends there. “The Lost City”, at the very least, knew what it was – a silly action-comedy flick – and allowed itself to roll with it.
That movie was certainly helped by genuinely funny moments and good chemistry between Channing Tatum and Sandra Bullock.
“Freelance”, on the other hand, seems to have an identity crisis between what it is trying to be and what it wants to do. Action comedy is its purported genre, but the film falters and flounders on both counts, never really committing to one or the other.
Does it have action? Yes, but it feels… boring. Which is kind of strange, given that Morrel was the director of “Taken”, which saw old man Liam Neeson getting all gritty.
At no point in “Freelance” do you feel that the characters are in mortal danger, and at no juncture do you feel the power behind each punch.
Well then, is it comedic at least? This writer laughs at this question, more than he did during the course of this movie’s near-two-hour runtime.
Now, Cena is not a bad comedy actor. He has shown his chops in outings such as the role of Peacemaker in James Gunn’s “The Suicide Squad”.
He is the perfect actor if you need a character who is physically strong but somewhat of a ditz. And he is likeable, too.
One suspects it is the writing team that has failed to make the best use of his abilities, as well as those of the other cast members.
The jokes, few as they are, largely fall flat. A good indicator of this was the lack of laughter in the theatre, apart from the odd snicker.
“Where did you come from?” asks Pettits when Venegas comes to his rescue. “From behind that tree,” comes the reply. Why are you not laughing? The film made a joke. Please laugh. Please?
Capping it off is the general lack of chemistry between Cena’s and Brie’s characters. Pettits actually has more interesting interactions with the dictator Venegas – so much so that one suspects that the misadventures of a tyrant and his long-suffering bodyguard would have made for a better film.
Which isn’t saying much, since any film would have been better than this dreck. TL;DR: if you were thinking of going “Freelance”, save your money.
As of press time, ‘Freelance’ is screening in cinemas nationwide.