With a 12-year-old daughter, a pair of five-year-old twin boys, a four-year-old son and a loving husband, Hasnita could not have asked for more.
But now, the 40-year-old mother of four fears that she may be running out of time to pose for more family snapshots with her young children and husband.
After beating the “big C” once before, Hasnita is now in the fight of her life as she battles a relapse of the extremely rare form of cancer which has spread to her bones, making it difficult and painful for her to remain seated for long.
Just two years ago, the IT consultant was living a hectic but happy life, juggling her career and duties as a wife and mother, but her world came crashing down in November 2016.
“I went for a massage and the therapist found a lump near my breast. I was worried and immediately went to see a doctor and had a mammogram done.”
Hasnita was given the devastating news that she was suffering from high grade neuroendocrine breast carcinoma which affects only 0.3% of the world’s population.
Within days, she had surgery to remove the lump and started chemotherapy and radiotherapy treatments.
“It was hard to explain to my children what was going on because it all happened so fast and my youngest son was only two at the time.
“I told him that I was sick and showed him my bandages from the surgery. I said I couldn’t carry him for the time being and that I could only hold his hands,” she told FMT in an interview, her voice quivering as she spoke of her children.
The chemotherapy and radiotherapy took their toll on Hasnita but it was the time away from her children that hurt the most.
“At the time, the treatments left me fatigued, so it was difficult for me to take care of my children. So we sent them to stay with their grandparents while my husband cared for me. I only get to see my children once in two weeks.
“The treatments were exhausting but when you’re used to having your kids around, and you come back to an empty house, you feel so lonely.”
Hasnita is grateful for her family’s support and said she would not have been able to cope without their help.
“My husband, my parents and my siblings have been my pillars of strength and I want to thank them for all that they have done for me, especially helping to take care of the children.”
Stage 4 cancer
It took eight months before a recovering Hasnita could welcome her kids home again. Last September, the family rejoiced when the doctor said there was no evidence of cancer.
But their happiness was shortlived. After only a few months, Hasnita started experiencing back pain. She went to see her doctor and her world was plunged into darkness once again.
“Stage four cancer is incurable. Now it is just a matter of controlling it from spreading so I take it day by day. But I’m staying positive,” she said.
Hasnita refuses to let the cancer get her down and is determined to enjoy life as much as she can with her children and husband Adi Asral Abdul Rashid, 41.
She said her battle with cancer had led her to live a more mellowed life, becoming a more patient mother who was focused on living life in the present, travelling with her loved ones and meeting friends she had not seen in decades.
“It’s funny, when you’re sick, people start to feel sorry for you, they come and see you. I’ve met more friends in the last few months that I have not seen in the past 20 years.
“After cancer, I’ve become closer to God and instead of crying, you do things which matter and this gives you some inner peace.”
Hasnita was very calm throughout the interview. She has also turned to blogging as an outlet for her to document her battle with cancer.
Some of her readers have said that her blog has helped them to cope and she is grateful for their kind words.
However, all the distractions can’t keep her mind off her biggest fear – her children’s future without her.
Her daughter is aware of her illness but not the boys who have only been told that “mummy is sick”.
“I still can’t imagine leaving them. I have to think of how to prepare them for when I’m no longer around.
“I hope they will remember that their mummy loves them, that mummy always prays for the best for them, and that mummy is always in their hearts, their biggest cheerleader.”
And this time, the tears flowed.