Why are shark-attack movies of the past few decades so utterly uninspired? Aside from Steven Spielberg’s “Jaws”, the film that started it all, follow-ups have largely failed to meet the mark.

Perhaps it doesn’t help that the human characters of this subgenre are often incredibly annoying teenagers who deserve to be turned into shark chow.

“Jetski”, released elsewhere as “Shark Bait”, is yet another piece of dreck about stupid humans getting into a standoff with a man-eating fish. Given that summer is right around the corner in the United States, this is likely the first wave (heh) of shark movies hitting the shores.

While most of them will likely try to live up to “Jaws”, it is even more likely they will fall flat on their proverbial faces, like “Jetski” does.

So, who’s on the menu? This time around, it’s five young adults who steal two jetskis to ride out into the open sea. “Ride or die!” one of them whoops as they speed through the waves. It’s not exactly subtle, or clever, foreshadowing.

Somewhere along the way, an accident occurs that sinks one jetski and breaks one character’s leg. Greg (Thomas Flynn) has to deal with saltwater lapping at exposed bone, while his friend Tyler (Malachi Pullar-Latchman) has a concussion.

With the beach far behind them, the worst thing these idiots could do is squabble among themselves. So guess what? They squabble among themselves.

As it turns out, country girl Nat (Holly Earl) discovers her beau Tom (Jack Trueman) has been sleeping with the attractive Milly (Catherine Hannay – who even ARE these actors?).

Throughout, you won’t be able to help but roll your eyes so hard, you risk them popping right out of their sockets. It’s all very hard to swallow – speaking of which, when is that shark showing up already?!

As luck would have it, one doesn’t have to wait for long: the blood seeping out of Greg’s open wound soon invites a Great White around for a nibble.

If you’re wondering which of them is the first to become shark nyum-nyum, it’s all rather predictable as their story arcs are clichéd right down to the (broken) bone.

‘Jaws’ superiority strikes again

The premise of “Jetski” is not dissimilar from that of “Jaws 2”, which also featured a bunch of holidaying youngsters preyed on by a killer fish.

But while viewers would’ve hoped the kids in the sequel survived the ordeal, those watching “Jetski” will likely be spurring the shark on to hurry and gobble them up already.

Unfortunately, even the maneater itself is a let-down as the CGI is not up to par. Its first appearance is the most effective, as it swims across the screen discreetly, building the tension.

But once it starts appearing out of the water, any semblance of terror evaporates very quickly, with unconvincing effects taking away the scare factor. When that plastic fin circles around the stranded jetski, one can’t help but wonder about the crew member holding it up underwater: how silly must they have felt?

At the end of the day, the fact that the shark is the most likeable character attests to the humans’ lack of charisma. Why does it keep insisting on pursuing them anyway? There has to be a better meal nearby!

Okay, okay – as much fun as it is to shoot down this crapfest, there are a few things worth commenting on. Firstly, the cinematography isn’t all that bad, with drone shots used well to zoom in and out on the isolated jetski and hinting that the water is not as safe as it looks.

And while this isn’t necessarily a good film by any standard, it holds up marginally better than the plethora of other shark-attack films that have flooded cinemas since “Jaws” (“Sharknado”, anyone?).

Also, when the predator does get round to munching on folks, the gore is pretty impressive. One scene has a victim clinging on to another for dear life, while the lower half of their body ends up being a free-for-all buffet.

All in all, “Jetski” is probably worth it if you’re an ardent follower of shark-attack films and want to add it to your depository of have-seens.

Yet, even if you’re not a fan, there’s a kind of perverse satisfaction in watching a movie where moronic characters get their rightful comeuppance from an aquatic angel of death.

‘Jetski’ is playing in cinemas nationwide.